does anybody take john witherspoon’s acting seriously?

john witherspoon is hilarious. he will crack you up just by his posture and bug-eyed gaping mouth schtick. without even saying a word. it’s too bad that he doesn’t appear in many a-list pictures, like he did in ‘bulworth.’ and even in that one, he was just playing a bit part stereotypical inner city religious black dude. he would have been perfect in a billy wilder film from the 1950s or early 1960s with his over-expressive physical acting style that wilder favored. anyways, he should be cast in a big studio picture. and furthermore, i think he can do serious straight stuff too but is typecast in broad slapstick comedy roles because that’s where his paychecks are at. can you imagine john witherspoon in ‘pulp fiction’ or any role samuel l. jackson was cast in for that matter? shame on you spike lee. when are you going to cast the great john witherspoon?

how about if john witherspoon was in the star wars movies instead of samuel l. jackson? you scoff at me, and say lucas would never cast witherspoon because he is too urban black man and over-the-top… well, what the hell was lucas smoking when he signed off on jar jar and lando? imagine john witherspoon sitting on the jedi counsel and debating with yoda in full ‘friday’ movie mode with his sassy remarks. or making up his own light saber moves (maybe he had to skip out on george lucas’ manditory light saber training to earn some extra dough doing stand-up because lucas lowballed him by only paying him union scale wages and not offer him any franchise licensing royalities) in a duel against darth vader and the emperor? the topper would be if witherspoon won the light saber battle, he would be gloating, “bang, bang, bang, bang” with a hearty laugh while bobbing his head side-to-side. or how about witherspoon farting during the jedi counsel session and throwing suspicion on yoda instead of himself by accusing yoda of having old man farts from eating too many intergalactic yams? i can just picture john grilling spare ribs for a jedi picnic cookout. you know there has to be a bathroom scene with witherspoon. like maybe an intermission during the jedi counsel session… witherspoon is on the toilet with a can of air freshner, and then the next jedi complains of the stink witherspoon leaves behind. i would pay to see that because it would be some funny shit and more entertaining than those movies turned out to be. we need more laughter in our lives. all right… i’m stopping now before this gets outta hand. enough said.